I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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