Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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