Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
