Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
nutella sex= disaster
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
