he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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