the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
