we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
