The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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