shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
