told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
