im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize