I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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