She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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