oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
