I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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