She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The best revenge is premature balding
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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