So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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