In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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