Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I will pee on everything he values.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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