The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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