So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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