I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i came on her dog
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
