yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
