After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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