My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
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Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.