He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail