Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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