i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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