I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
