did you get engaged???
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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