winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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