My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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