I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
