after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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