Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
