This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize