3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
