So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize