In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
