Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
