Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this boner is exhausting
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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