Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
