Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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