Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
