Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
