I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
love makes seman taste better
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
