Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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