Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
