I smell stomach acid.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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