so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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