Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
