Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.