Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
I tried to put my heels in the coat check