Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got her a Nickelback box set.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.