If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no