what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
