Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
